Menorca 2

 When we woke up this morning, it was cold, windy and gray, with storm clouds threatening. So we thought it would be a terrific time to rent bikes and ride along the remote southwest coast of Menorca where there is nothing but rocks and scrub and you’re completely exposed to the elements.

We covered a lot of territory on this ride, as illustrated below.

We made it all the way down to the historic Cap d’Artrutx lighthouse which, when first opened in 1859 burned olive oil to power the lamp (really), was rebuilt when everyone realized that it wasn’t stable enough to survive the waves pounding into the shore, and is now a restaurant where a scrambled egg and vegetable appetizer costs $20. Plus if you’re driving you can’t go to the lighthouse or even park in the lot unless you eat at the restaurant.

But we did briefly ride our bikes in the parking lot just to challenge authority, rode all the way back up
to Ciutadella, then continued north along the coast past a lot of charming beach towns to a public swimming spot that was watercolor-worthy, which provided us an excuse to finally stop riding and do some painting (for only one of us, obviously).

Then we returned our bikes, ate a bag of nuts and declared it a successful day.

Menorca

 

Last year I went to the island of Menorca, the overlooked and lesser-known neighbor of Mallorca, and was really taken by the beauty of the place. I was very excited about showing this little gem to Martha. We got up at 4:00 a.m. to get a 6:15 flight, landed uneventfully, rented a car and drove it to this place on the sea in Ciutadella with our own private waterfront balcony.

I changed my clothes, got my bearings and was ready for our first coastal hike of the day and discovered that Martha was here, passed out.

So, I went for a walk by myself and headed to the old port area of Ciutadella where I learned about the Stairs of Isabella II, pictured here. They’re called this because in 1860 there was a war going on in Spain and Queen Isabella II wanted to sail to Menorca to show the people here that the monarchy was behind them. The plan was for her to come to Mahon, which is the bigger city on Menorca. However, a storm forced her to come to shore in Ciutadella, where we are now. The people here hadn’t prepared for a royal visit, so the Queen had to get off the boat and walk up some crappy stone stairs used every day by fishermen to get to the town. To commemorate the occasion, the town renamed those stairs the Stairs of Isabella II. 

Fast forward 40 years to 1904 when the King of Spain decided to visit Menorca and land here in Ciutadella. Still smarting from the embarrassment of having a queen walk up some crappy stone stairs, the town mobilized and prepared better for this visit by carving an elaborate stone staircase into the rocky shore near Ciutadella. Stairs fit for a king (ha ha). And, as you have probably already guessed, storms forced the King to land elsewhere and he never used the fancy stairs. He also visited two more times but still never used the stairs. There’s a lesson to be learned from all of this, but I’m not going to spoon feed you.

Martha and I, on the other hand, had a day that more or less matched our expectations. It included some great food, a nap and a walk downtown in the rain.

Day 7

 Martha and I have just completed an intense week of Spanish classes at the same language school I discovered when I was here in 2016 (it's on the street pictured at left). Little did I know that I’d be returning all these years later and that Martha would be learning Spanish too. 

She’s become totally fluent at painting watercolors and drinking wine on our rooftop terrace and moderately fluent at ordering sandwiches. We also get to have conversations in Spanish, which is fun. “Do we have the wine?” “Yes, the wine she lives in my pocket.” And so on. Actually, I made that up. In all honesty, Martha’s Spanish after three months is way better than mine was. 

But none of that matters anymore because we’re leaving tomorrow for Menorca, a small Spanish island in the Mediterranean. Why? Contrasting recent headlines from Spain and Menorca the better question is why not? In light of the news flashes quoted verbatim below, where would you rather be?

Spain

• Spanish far-right party Vox campaigns on illegal immigration using manipulated data
• Catalonia in grip of worst drought in decades
• Spain officials quit over order for trains that were too wide for tunnels (obviously this one is both funny and tragic, but it was only a €260 million order, so not really that big a deal)

Menorca

• Two Spanish police officers in hot water over video showing them enjoying local fiesta a little too much
• Scientists find evidence of prehistoric drug use on Menorca
• If trees could talk, these ten amazing trees would have stories to tell

Every May for the last 50 years has been warm and dry here, but rain is predicted every day that we’re planning to be in Menorca. Luckily for us, even though it’s a tiny island, they have wifi, bars and they take credit cards.

And one small observation about the benefits of a multiparty system. Spain has more than 50 political parties and next weekend is holding national elections. Which means that candidates like this one from the Ciudadana party, can convey their message in whatever way they think appropriate, even if it means posing for your official campaign portrait naked.

Day 6

I took a small blog break and then I discovered that we’re already thinking about packing up. Because I usually spend multiple weeks in this wonderland where beer costs less than food and water, where everything closes up for an afternoon nap, and where the prime minister says things like “Spain is a great country and the Spanish are very Spanish and much Spanish,” and when criticized during a debate, responded “Everything you said is false, except for some things,” it just seems too soon to be thinking about leaving, although it is way past time to end this sentence.

The main thoroughfare that connects the port part of the city with the northern part is a large avenue called Laietana. Our neighborhood is right next to it, so I walk it all the time. It used to be pretty congested with cars, but now the city is undergoing a massive project to add light rail and pedestrian malls everywhere to reduce the number of cars in the city. As a result, Laietana has gone from 5 lanes of heavy traffic to 1-2 lanes of stopped traffic 24 hours a day. Since this project has been going on for almost two years and has a long way to go, I feel like it’s already achieving the objective.

The graffiti, on the other hand, just isn’t what it used to be. In past years I’ve posted pictures of spray paint art in downtown Barcelona that belonged in a museum. 

These days it really looks like those tattooed, hair-bunned hipsters are just phoning it in.

Which I guess is why places like this popped up, which give classes on how to up your graffiti game. They include instructions on what materials you need, how to create the initial sketches and how to make stencils, and then you can practice on a wall in the “school.” After that, they turn you loose in downtown Barcelona. What could possibly go wrong?

And this just in from the Awkward Translation Desk, permanent signage on the front of a barbershop that says “Much more than we are.” That guy should run for prime minister.

Day 3

Every day in Barcelona there’s at least one demonstration and one parade, typically with large dancing puppets. At the parade only. Yesterday’s parade was Picasso themed.

The demonstration was for animal rights, and while the animal costumes were entertaining, the messages weren’t nearly as fun as they were at the Picasso parade. 

We decided at the last minute this morning to do a day trip to Sitges, a town that Martha would like me to stop referring to as “Gaytown.” So instead I’ll say that Sitges is a small, charming beach town that is gay friendly, has gay bars, gay beaches and gay restaurants. And it’s also family friendly, for both straight and gay families. 

If a picture is worth a thousand words  . . . the sign at left was in the window of one of the shops.

This was an ad for the theatre.

We had a delightful time. Martha painted for a while, and as soon as I left her, she got picked up by this 80 year-old guy who said he was a painter too so she let him sit next to her for a while. I’ve never tried that line, but there’s still time.

We enjoyed Sitges so much that we may change our schedule a bit and spend a couple of days there at the end of our trip. But in the meantime, we are getting ready for our first day of “school” tomorrow. The quotes are because although it’s a real school, we’re not real students and we can leave anytime. But because we’re both Type A adults, we probably won’t.