Cadíz 2

With the benefit of both hindsight and a borderline illegal amount of caffeine this morning, I learned why I got so lost last night. I was looking for a particular restaurant in the old town. The “old town” of any European city is specifically laid out to be confusing so that invaders would just keep invading in endless circles and loops, continually running into each other while they tried to find whatever it was they were looking for (perhaps the reason England kept invading Cadíz). 

Anyway, just before my phone died I took a last glance at Google maps, which told me to walk to the water and turn right. Since I was on an island with water in every direction and also in the old town, heading toward the water and turning right meant that there was more or less a zero percent chance I would ever know where I was or where I was going.

Having discovered this morning that learning something once in a while does have a potential benefit, I doubled down and went on an educational walking tour of the city. Who knew learning could actually be useful? For example:

One “gift” the British left behind after all of their invasions was the terrific idea of taxing people based on how many square feet of windows they had. Thus, everyone either reduced the size of their windows or just removed them. Spain no longer taxes windows, but they do tax the use of ozone-harming fluorocarbons in air conditioners.

If you ever find yourself involved in Napoleonic Wars, once they’re over and you don’t need cannons anymore, you can just throw them in the ocean. Or . . . you can embed them in buildings where people use them for hundreds of years as ashtrays, beer holders, dog-peeing spots, whatever. You’ll notice that the one in the bottom right corner is on a street that vehicles can’t enter except for ambulances. Since the streets here are about 8 inches wider than a car and they are full of cars, motorcycles and pedestrians dodging each other all day, it definitely makes sense to provide good access to ambulances.

Speaking of dogs, they are apparently not allowed in stores. But they are SO good.

And this is how this happens.