Doing it Again in 2022

After a three-year hiatus, which I figure is about a decade in COVID time, my bike rides in Spain have finally resumed. I am currently over the ocean somewhere wiggling my toes in the 2 extra inches of legroom I purchased for $150.00. 

When I came out here in the spring for little get away, the United Airlines staff initially wouldn’t let me on the plane despite the fact that I was holding a United boarding pass because they claimed there was no record of me in their system. This trip has gone more smoothly so far except for the guy next to me at the gate, who in every conversation with anyone in person or by phone kept saying that our gate (C4) was “Charley 4.” Why did this bother me? No idea. Also, the plane claims to be going to Boston (see image) and the guy next to me told me he sweats a lot on planes. 

But I’m not focusing on those things. I’m focusing on the fact that by sometime tomorrow I’m going to be on the island of Mallorca, a place I knew very little about until ten minutes ago when I completed some extensive research.

1.  The top stories today in the Mallorca Bulletin carry the headlines “Large Pig Causes Mallorca Traffic Accident” and “74 Year-Old Injured After Fall at Home.” Not that I don’t feel bad for the guy, but why can’t we have more headlines like that?

2.  80,000 people a year come to Mallorca to bike, which I figure means that there will be roughly 220 people joining me as I start my bike ride Sunday. I guarantee you it’s going to take more than a large pig to stop us.

3.  One of the nightclubs in Mallorca has the biggest foam machine in the world. As long as everyone there is wearing N-95 masks and I can be in bed by 10:00, count me in.

As I settle in, pretending to read the New Yorker magazines I brought with me, I am browsing the movies available on the flight. After filtering out all the ones that involve singing or dancing, that have the words “inspiring,” “uplifting,” or “heartwarming” in the description, or involve hobbits or knights, it looks like I’ll be watching the Bourne Ultimatum on a plane for the sixth time.

Also, I’m peeing a lot because Martha, concerned about my tendency toward dehydration, advised me to drink water whenever I think of her. Not the most common request from a spouse whose husband is on the verge of leaving for Europe, but I’m doing it.